Sunday, 4 November 2012

16. 6 weeks on.

Hello everyone, I hope you're all well and enjoyed Halloween! It's Bonfire night tomorrow so remember to have lots of fun but also to stay safe. I hope you're all enjoying the extra hour in bed although it doesn't make up for the fact that you have to leave home for school/work in the dark and return in the dark. For those of you who are regular readers, my last post was about starting university so I thought I'd update you on how everything is going so far.
Firstly, those of you currently taking A-levels and GCSEs have no idea how lucky you are. The workload may seem like tons to you at the moment but wait until you start university. Lecturers go through the bare minimum and you have to look up extra information in textbooks that weigh a ton and cost a bomb. You may be thinking why I didn't just get them out of the library, well I would have but there was nothing there except for the chemistry one. Which brings me nicely onto my next point- any budding bioscientists- DO NOT PICK A CHEMISTRY RELATED MODULE, IT IS NOT CHEMISTRY, IT IS PHYSICS!!! Those of you who did A-level physics and maths/further maths will probably find it okay because it includes things like quantum mechanics, Schrodinger's wave equation, etc. Also, be prepared to do a lot of work online so those of you who are distracted by social networking sites need to toughen up and not be drawn in by the temptation of tweeting. Oh and the worst thing of it all has to be essay writing. It is nothing like the long exam answers you may have had to write in A-level exams for psychology, biology, sociology etc. The referencing isn't as bad as most people say in my personal opinion but it is the research which is so grim. There never seems to be anything relevant and authors of different journals contradict each other so you never know what is correct. Also, microscopes should not exist -_- The reason why I'm probably listing the endless bad things about university is that I've spent all weekend working on the most tedious essay I have ever had the displeasure of writing :|
Now moving onto the more positive things about university life. You have to put yourself out there when opportunities arise because you will be pleasantly surprised. Now I'm not exactly a wallflower but I'm not incredibly confident either. For instance, I always find myself stammering in presentations that I have to do in front of a class. However, I have decided to throw myself  in at the deep end by mentoring year 11 girls and being a student ambassador at university. As part of the student ambassador selection process, we had to attend an assessment session and in groups of 4-5, we had to do a verbal presentation without visual aids on why we chose to come to the University of Manchester. In the past, I have struggled with eye contact and relying heavily on a script but on Tuesday, I wrote less than 10 words on a piece of paper and made decent eye contact but still bloody stammered! However, I was pleasantly surprised the next day when I received an email saying that I am one of the 75 successful candidates chosen from 150 applicants. With the mentoring, I myself have gone through many of life's challenges but have been lucky enough to have someone there for me most of the time. As cheesy as it sounds, I want to be that someone for a young person with bags of potential.
Aside from university and working with young people, I have discovered that cafe crawls are the best thing since Starbucks' caramel macchiato. My friend and I have made a pact to visit every cafe on the university campus during our time at the university and so far we have had the pleasure of visiting the Aadvark Cafe (only in Manchester would you find something so cool) and realising Costa Coffee is like a House of Mirrors. To avoid the tons of work I unfortunately have,  I've been watching Gavin and Stacey and can admit that I'm addicted. Uncle Bryn and Nessa will get me through university, I just know it. Hopefully my next post will be before (OH OH OH MERRY) Christmas ;) 
Until next time, whenever that will be, take care my sheep!
Mancunian Sheep x
P.S. Oops, just realised that this post has no photos or links, it looks like a bloody essay so here you go...

Sunday, 30 September 2012

15. BSc Biology

Hello everyone! Before I get bags of hate mail, (only one out of approximately 7 billion of you homo sapiens has actually been nice enough to comment so I doubt anyone cares that I've not posted for like 2 months) I would like to apologise for not posting since August or it might even have been late July. Anyway, a lot has happened in my life since then :
  • ANDY MURRAY WON THE US OPEN- although it took him over 5 hours to beat the defending champion in a thrilling 5 set match, he did it. Words cannot express how happy I am for him and what a successful year both Andy and I have both had. When Novak came back from 2-0 down to level, I was pretty much crying my eyes out but the positive attitude Murray has had this year since being crowned Olympic mens singles champion and as well as Wimbledon runner up gave him that edge. Here are a few of my favourite photos of Andy with his first of many (I hope) Grand Slam trophies :D

  • I GOT INTO THE UNIVERSITY OF MANCHESTER- Despite crying more than I have in my entire life during this summer, I actually passed my A-levels after a torturous 2 years. I received BBB in A-levels in Biology, Chemistry and Sociology. The week leading up to results day and especially the 2 days before were so emotional. My results went online at 6am and that morning after praying from about 4.30am-6am, I was crying my eyes out because failure for me has never been an option. When I logged onto the computer, I could only see my overall grade for sociology so I frantically started working out my total marks for the other 2 whilst trembling on the calculator. I knew I'd got the place at MMU, my insurance university place but then the wait until 8am began when UCAS Track would be updated. At approximately 7.37am my UCAS track page which had been opened in a web browser window since 6am automatically refreshed and when I read the words "Congratulations, your place at the University of Manchester to study BSc Biology has been confirmed", I ran with the speed of someone running from a deadly situation up the stairs and just told my Mum and cried and cried. My work had been paid off. The hundreds of revision cards I had made, the countless sleepless nights since that awful chemistry exam in June (in which I got a B in if anyone cares) and I had finally done it, I'd made my Mum, teachers, friends and for probably the first time in my life, myself proud. As we have recenty seen with the success of team GB at the Olympics and Paralympics, hard work really does pay off as obvious as it sounds. Although for some people, they are born into successful, wealthy families, their ancestors must have done something to get them into that situation and there is nothing stopping you from doing the same. I am about to start my third week at university tomorrow and althought the work is tough, I'm having the time of my life and meeting people from every corner of Earth and learning new things. There is so much to do and not enough time, I'm already purple and proud :D
Good luck to everyone who has just started university or A-levels or has graduated this summer. Leave a comment below sharing your experiences :) Also, let me know where you were and what you were doing when Andy Murray made history :D Thanks for reading!

Take care,

Mancunian Sheep x

Thursday, 2 August 2012

14. London 2012 and Ramadhan update :)

Hello everyone, it's the Mancunian sheep here! Sorry for not posting for 2 weeks, I've been fairly busy and wanted something good to write about instead of a long, boring post. Well, it's almost 2 weeks into Ramadhan (today is the 13th fast) and they are going very well. Fortunately, I haven't missed a single fast or prayer, I suppose being anaemic does have its advantages ;) Despite a lot of my Muslim friends and I being quite frightened of no food/water for approximately 17 hours during the middle of summer, it doesn't even feel like I'm fasting. The first couple were quite difficult because not only were they the longest, but also because it takes some time adjusting to a new routine. My stomach used to rumble as I cooked or served my Mum meals because unfortunately, she cannot fast due to her critical, regular medication for her Parkinson's. As the fast opens at 9pm-ish (this is called Iftar, it's when you're allowed to eat at sunset), it's difficult to eat a lot when closing the fast (this is called Sehri, it's when you have a meal before sunrise and then cannot eat until Iftar). For Sehri, I've been eating little fruit pots recommended by my friend and sometimes I have a small carton of Ribena. For Iftar, I've been eating a fruit salad usually consisting of 4 dates, an apple, a banana, 2 clementines and a nectarine. I also have some curry with a chappati/ naan or pizza but have been trying to eat more protein such as grilled chicken with salad at Iftar so I'm not bloated for the special Ramadhan night prayers called Taraveeh or Sehri. 
Ramadhan isn't the only big event on at the moment, it's the Olympics! YAY :D Team GB had a really successful day yesterday by winning 5 medals and today, Andy Murray has just gotten through to the semi finals! I feel like a proud Mother at a sports day! Special congratulations to Bradley Wiggins who has had an incredible 2012 so far- not only is he the first British cyclist to win the Tour De France, he's also won a gold medal AND is now the most successful British athlete and Olympic cyclist of all time! :D As well as the cycling and tennis, I've also enjoyed watching the gymnastics, swimming and rowing. We've done incredibly well in the rowing :) As well as the sports events being brilliant, who can forget the fantastic Olympic opening ceremony?! Did any of you see that massive Voldemort, that actually completed my life :') Several other personal highlights of mine were the digital house which celebrated 50 years of amazing British music, the performances by the Arctic Monkeys and Emeli Sande, when HRH Queen Elizabeth said "Good evening Mr Bond" to Daniel Craig and was in a helicopter with him, the SHEEP in the agricultural scene at the beginning and finally, the lighting of the cauldron. Two things which baffled me were why on earth a tribute was paid to the NHS :| For those of you who follow me on Twitter, you probably already know how much I'm anticipating the day I can afford private healthcare. The other thing which grated on my nerves was how people said Beijing's Olympic ceremony was better than ours. I'm sorry but you're all a big fat bunch of liars, how can any of you even remember it so well when it was 4 years ago? Also, London pulled out all the stops from David Beckham on a speed boat to Rowan Atkinson playing the piano with his middle finger. People also need to realise that the London 2012 ceremony cost £27 million compard to Beijing's approximately £64 million. Also, did we use a child singer who lip synced because the vocalist was "too ugly" to perform? No. I'm proud of our opening ceremony and the 10,000 volunteers who made it possible. I'm looking forward to both the closing ceremony and watching team GB win many more medals during the second week of the Olympics. Hopefully, you will all also enjoy the Olympic coverage and have fun whatever you're doing!

Take care,

Mancunian Sheep

Monday, 16 July 2012

13. 18 at last!

The Mancunian sheep is officially an adult guys, wheyy! Me being epic (only kidding), I was both the chef and DJ at my party and decided to break an 18 year tradition by cooking non-Indian food at my party :O My Mum and her friend really wanted to help but I wanted to prove that I could be the hostess with the mostess so for the main I made fajitas (the Old El Paso kits are really good but the salsa wasn't really to my taste. It is better if you chill it before serving in the fridge for a few hours. Thanks to Asda who do superb margherita and vegetable pizzas for £2 each, I didn't have to spend ages making my own :D I also made pasta and realised that despite being able to make a whole range of curries, I never really make pasta. I didn't really have a theme because it's just too much effort although I did consider a Where's Wally/ Harry Potter theme for the past year. Enough food talk because some of you who might be reading this a few days after publishing will probably be fasting so good luck! I shall move on to talking about my presents- I received several perfumes including the Beckham one called "initimately" which smells lush as does the body lotion. My friend Misbah bought me a superb personalised mug which had a photo of me and was like a film poster <3 I've just realised I've not got a photo of the mug but will take one and put it on the next post. I received 4 boxes of chocolates so will have plenty of fun eating them :D A surprise present was a Cath Kidston bag off my Mum which she had told me to buy for her last week but she's so sneaky because it was actually for me! My extremely talented friend, Lauren gave me a framed picture of Where's Wally and I which had only taken her an hour to draw :O She's incredible. Lauren also bought me the ultimate Where's Wally book collection which will provide me with weeks of fun :D It has all 7 Wally books! We had plenty of fun singing and dancing but I think my guests were sick of me playing Cheryl's Call My Name and singing my heart out to it. I don't actually know what happens to me when that song comes on but at least they enjoyed Mama Do The Hump, the Cha Cha slide and LMFAO's Party Rock Anthem ;) The V.I.P at my party was John Terry (no, not that innocent footballer who scores very important penalties for Chelski), I'm talking about John Terry the pinata. Regular readers will probably be familiar with Ryan Giggs who was the V.I.P at my 17th who is unfortunately no longer with us after a tragic accident in my back garden last year. Unfortunately , when your Mother is a Chelski fan, calling your pinata John Terry is not wise. She wouldn't let us batter him so basically he's still alive and he was just used as a bowl for some Celebrations sweets at my party :| I could go on and on about my party but I think it would be better if I just summed it up with a few photos:

Mum, Me and Misbah :)

Misbah and I, she's so cute!

Mum and Madihah who I can't thank enough for doing my
hair and nails and making me look less like Hagrid!

Madbo <3 She's like the big sis I never had!

These girls complete my life, genuinely have no idea
what I'd do without these 3! :')

Ronald and Severus

Aww Guy and Ana, our lovely neighbours!

Aww Paul and Gloria!
How cute!

The sparkler on my cake looks like a bunsen burner

It looks more like a sparkler here

Peggy and John bonded

Naughty Peggy!
Well I hope you've all enjoyed reading about my 18th birthday, until next time, take care!
Mancunian Sheep x

Monday, 9 July 2012

12. Superb second week of summer

Hello everyone, I hope you're well! I thought that I should stick to my promise of updating you all on a weekly basis. So despite a busy weekend (they say there's no rest for the wicked) I thought I should share my personal highlights of this week. Now although I did mention a lot on Wimbledon towards the end of the last post, I feel I owe it to the BRITISH number 1 and the first British Wimbledon FINALIST in 74 years, Andy Murray to be deeply praised. Although some may argue that I have a biased view being a hardcore Murray fan, I know many fans of Federer and other players who have been converted by watching the quality of tennis that Andy has been playing over the past fortnight. The stamina and maturity of the 25 year old was clear to see in his quarter final match against Ferrer, semi final against Tsonga but most importantly, against Federer in the final. His knee had caused him some problems last week due to several falls but he kept his cool when he looked to be in trouble against Ferrer and also against Tsonga during the 3rd and 4th sets. Today, to win the first set against Roger Federer (the best man tennis has ever seen) in his first Wimbledon final is no mean feat. I am so proud of Murray and so should every British citizen and Murray fan across the world. It was absolutely heart breaking to see how upset Murray was but he really silenced his critics today who have accused him of being emotionless in the past. He is such a genuine person who doesn't let all of the fame get to his head, as is Federer which is why a 7th Wimbledon title could not have been won by a better man than him. Well done to both Federer and Murray and I know that both will return next year and for many years to come and Murray WILL win Grand Slam titles including Wimbledon if this year's performance is anything to go by. This moment will stay with me for the rest of my life, as it will for millions of others but the passion Murray has for tennis will be paid off when he is lifting the trophy at Wimbledon.
We love you Murray, we do!

In other news, I have been busy shopping for a birthday dress which thanks to New Look I found after 3 hours! The vintage shop where I got my dress for the Adele concert let me down but hey, everything happens for a reason! I LOVE my dress, it's just perfect and it's nice to be able to fit into a size 10 ;) I will post photos on my next post. Also, I didn't watch the Wimbledon final alone, my two very good friends, Misbah and Sammia came over and we baked cupcakes which my friends beautifully decorated with pink buttercream and hundreds and thousands. We also made banoffee pie but it was difficult to slice as it was quite crumbly. During the match, we were sick to death of how frequently deuces occured and every time we moaned, the game would end up going to 5th deuce. There was one particular game during the Wimbledon final which lasted over 18 minutes and it went to 10th deuce. I was seriously contemplating writing a will at that moment.

Other than that, this week has been mainly spent at home due to the glorious Manchester rain. I did make fajitas for the very first time. I decided to make a trial batch to see if I was any good at them so they could be included on my birthday menu. The Old Del Paso kit is a life saver! Also, in my previous post titled "Wimbledon amongst other things", I mentioned the novel "Frankie and Stankie", as a result of my love of biology, I have stopped reading that and have now started reading a non-fictional book titled "Survival of the sickest" which is superb. I recommend it to anyone who suffers from anaemia, diabetes or hemochromatosis in particular as it views these diseases from a positive perspective which is rarely done. I have read the first 2 chapters so far because Wimbledon has been such edge of the seat tennis that I couldn't bare to miss a moment. I have realised that I didn't mention the women's singles. I am really pleased that Serena Willams has won her 5th Wimbledon title because she truly deserved to. She is probably one of very few female players I can watch because the noises that Azarenka and Sharapova make leave me feeling suicidal. In the previous post, I mentioned photos and videos from community day but apologies as I have not had the time to upload them but will try my best to get it done for my next post which will predominantly be about my 18th birthday!

I thought as a little treat I will leave you all with some music. They are very different to one another, I've fallen in love with the first track after it appeared on a television advert during England's Euro 2012 campaign. The second track should cheer you up after Murray's defeat not that you should be upset by his performance in the slightest but I know his speech had the majority of people at the All England Club as well as many others including myself in tears. I discovered the second track on the BBC Three show "Britiain Unzipped" which was presented by two gorgeous and talented young men: Greg James and Russell Kane. Feel free to comment below on any of the topics discussed in this post or elsewhere in the blog.

Love Mancunian Sheep x

Sunday, 1 July 2012

11. Wimbledon amongst other things!

Hi everyone! I hope you've all had a good week, my first week of the summer holidays has been rather productive. As well as being a total couch potato and watching non-stop tennis, I've been busy painting the kitchen ceiling, baking (this week I made some meringues and rice pudding) and gardening. With the odd weather that we've had this year, there was a lot of grass in the front garden most of which I've managed to remove. Now all that is left is to prepare the soil to plant some petunias and herbs. I've had green fingers from a young age and gardening is also a great workout. My legs were aching after two days of gardening! As well as being a domestic goddess, I have attended two brilliant events in my first education free week, they are my lovely friend Lauren's 18th birthday party (regular readers will know more about Lauren) and I also watched the Olympic torch being carried through my local community. Here are some photos of both events:

The 2 gorgeous Laurens and I <3

The Olympic Torchbearer and a local resident
Also this week, I had my hair cut, yes the full fringe has returned, woop woop! Following the advice of my hairdresser, I've decided to grow my layers out because I fancied a change after 3 years of having layered hair. I went back to my sixth form on Friday for community day which was great! I participated in Zumba with my friend like last year and got incredibly overexcited when "Call My Name" and "Single Ladies" by Cheryl Cole and Beyonce respectively came on. As well as Zumba, my friends and I watched the college talent show aptly named "Xavs Got Talent", some of the acts which personally stood out for me were a boy who covered "Candy" by Paolo Nutini, a girl who sang "Kids" by MGMT and a boy who beatboxed for about 10 minutes without his lungs collapsing amazingly. Unfortunately, I haven't recharged my digital camera since but I will post some photos and videos on the next post.

Now as the title of this post mentions Wimbledon, I of couse have to mention how much of an Andy Murray fan I am! If any of you are tennis fans, I would love to hear from you so feel free to comment below! Murray has been on top form during the tournament so far and especially last night (during his third round match) when he and Baghdatis were pretty much neck and neck statistics wise for the first 3 sets. It was dreadful to watch Murray fall several times because he looked to be in a huge amount of pain however he really amazed anyone who has previously doubted his ability in the 4th set. Although closing the roof made conditions more difficult to play in, the 36 minute break proved valuable for Murray and the final 2 games of the match he won in approximately 5 minutes. Enough about Murray, Rosol shocked the world when he beat Nadal but Wimbledon wouldn't be Wimbledon without its twists and turns. Even Federer looked to be in trouble but he came back from 2 sets down against Benneteau to win in style. Another thing which I love about the majority of tennis players is how classy they are, despite losing or being exhuasted after playing for 2-4 hours they still stick around to sign autographs. You may think I'm easily impressed but this restores my faith in human nature. Not forgetting the women's tennis, I discovered an incredibly talented young lady called Laura Robson during the first Wimbledon match I watched this week but unfortunately she was knocked out in the first round. However despite being only 18, she was playing very well. No doubt she will return to Wimbledon next year stronger and better. I tried to watch a bit of Maria Sharapova's match however she makes too many weird noises and it's really off putting -_-

I couldn't help myself, ;) oh Murray, we love you, we do!

In other news, I booked my practical driving test but I'm not telling anyone when it is except my lovely instructor that is, I haven't even told my Mum because I don't want anyone to know if I fail and everyone's expectations will put a lot of pressure on me. Anyway, I have shared my first week of the holidays with you all and I hope you've enjoyed reading. I myself am going to spend the rest of this evening reading Frankie and Stankie. I'm only on the first chapter so I will tell you more about it next week and let you know whether it's a recommended read. Take care and have a great week!

Love Mancunian Sheep x

Saturday, 23 June 2012

10. End of an era.

I know it's been a while guys so I thought it would be nice to tell you all what the Mancunian sheep has been up to!
After the toughest two years of my education, I have officially finished my A-levels today.My last exam which was this morning was biology unit 5(for any current AS biologists, I did the AQA exam board so feel free to contact me if you need any help). Very surprisingly, this exam was probably my best A2 one despite it being synoptic. However, chemistry unit 5 was on Tuesday and I can honestly say it was the worst exam I have ever sat in my entire academic career to date. Despite going to chemistry support in my lunch hour almost everyday this year and revising the syllabus several times and completing many past papers, I came out of this exam crying. Sociology which was a week ago was a bit of a weird paper too with the main essay question being worded vaguely. Again, any future A2 chemists and sociologists, I did the AQA exam board and feel free to contact me for any help you require! This summer I had 4 exams (3 A2 and 1 AS) which compared to AS you'd think would be a doddle as last summer,  I had 7 exams after a poor peformance last January. However, since the beginning of May I've been revising 5+ hours a day on average and can now finally lead a normal life until September when hopefully I will be starting a BSc in Biology at the University of Manchester. Exams may have almost ruined the past 2 years of my life but my sixth form experience has been amazing. The staff are lovely and the friendly atmosphere is why Xaverian is so successful. I felt so emotional during the last proper week of lessons at college before study leave and felt like I'd taken things for granted such as the trees:

I have a lot planned over this summer, it all kicks off tomorrow with one of my best friend's 18th birthday party (so excited, it'll be lovely to let my hair down after a tough academic year). Also, I'm going to be hitting the gym, reading a lot of books which I've deeply missed during these past few months and not to forget some baking and gardening. I turn 18 next month so need to plan what I'm doing for it. Most importantly, the Muslim month of Ramadan begins in mid- July and I am looking forward to it of course for several reasons. Firstly, these will be the toughest fasts I have kept in my life so far due to the long daylight hours so these fasts will really make you appreciate what others who are less fortunate than us don't have. Also, I worship a lot more during every Ramadan because I spend less time eating, cooking, etc. I might do a fasting diary on this blog to show the effects on me spirtiually, physically and emotionally as the month goes by (that's if I'm not too tired, thristy and hungry).
It's close to midnight ;) and the sound of raindrops hitting my windows has stopped at last after 2 whole days of constant rainfall so it's time for the Mancunian sheep to sleep. Take care everyone!
Mancunian Sheep x

Saturday, 14 April 2012

9. Weight loss!

Hello everyone! I hope you're all well. My last post was written when I was in a pretty bad place so I'm sorry if it upset any of you. My Mum's condition has improved a little and I've managed to get a fair amount of revision done over the holidays so all this equals a happy Mancunian sheep! Hopefully you've all had a good Easter. The title of this post is not a late April Fool's. I have actually lost 9lbs during the past 7 weeks. I think most of this has been down to stress and the fact that I've been eating earlier. I reckon there will be a Brunch diet phenomenon. I have only been to the gym once this year (2 weekends ago) and had a pretty good workout but I am pretty active anyway. I walk to and from college everyday and pretty much walk to all the local amenities. As a fast walker (something I can thank my Mother for), it does become a rather vigorous workout at times than a nice, relaxing stroll. I'm sort of waffling now, sorry! This post is a bit random because I thought it would be nice to update regular readers on what I've been up to. I have a busy day tomorrow. I'm off to watch the Hunger Games with my best friend and as a reward for this weight loss, I can finally buy my summer wardobe. Now because of the name of this blog, some of you may have assumed that I am either a City or a United fan, well I am a Red but a Liverpool fan! Tomorrow is the semi final of the FA cup against our biggest rivals, Everton and I'm praying that we win despite having neither Reina or Doni but hopefully Brad Jones and the rest of the lads will do the Kop proud. This may be the last post for a while because my final half term at sixth form starts this Monday so my evenings will consist of very little but revision. Also, the new series of Made in Chelsea started 2 weeks ago, do any of you watch it? I must say it is my guilty pleasure and can't get enough of Caggie and Millie. I'm going to try and put up a post a week to update you all on the life of a Mancunian sheep which was my original intention when I made this blog. As it's been so long since I put up a proper post interacting with readers, here are a few goodies for you. As in previous posts, I've recommended a music video to songs that I cannot get out of my head!
This song has been in my head for the past 3 weeks:
And here's something to make you laugh so none of you darlings feel as upset as I was:

You'll find it funniest if you're a Potter fan like me, if you're a Muggle then hopefully you'll still crack a smile ;)
Who said I didn't spoil you because here is my recent favourite fashion purchase:
It's the green maxi skirt (other colours are available) from Littlewoods, it cost £21 and it's gorgeous. The material's so silky and you get a free belt too! Bargain :D I would've uploaded a link to it so anyone who was interested but the Littlewoods website is under construction -_-

Anyway, it's 12.20am so I must get some beauty sleep. I hope you've enjoyed reading and remember to come back soon!

Love, Mancunian Sheep x

Wednesday, 21 March 2012

8. The mother of all rants

Before I actually get to the main point of this post, I would like to apologise for not posting in yonks! I've been busy with revision and exams during the previous months. I should be revising now too but feel as though I have a lot to get off my chest which is holding me back. Despite saying that this blog will have a purpose in previous posts, I haven't stuck to it so I'm not making any more promises. I'm sorry this post will be rather negative but I don't think I've felt this low for a long time. I don't really deserve any sympathy because I know there are people in this world who would give anything to have what I do, people who don't even have access to clean water. However, I would also appreciate if you didn't post any horrid comments either.
Basically, I'm in my 2nd year of A-levels as regular readers will already know and I did fairly well in my January exams so don't get me wrong but this won't be about exam stress. But what I have established is that I am lonely. As an only child, I have always spent a lot of time on my own and when my parents split up a few years ago, I have spent even more time alone. Recently though, I feel as though I have no-one to talk to about my problems. My Mother suffers from Parkinsons disease (a neurological disorder) so I can't really burden her with all my crap and sometimes, she contributes to the problem. She doesn't mean to but it is her illness rather than her. The past 2 years of my life have been the worst (sorry if this post doesn't flow, I just want to get it all out). I mean from going from one of the brightest in my year to an average student hit me quite hard. Also, I feel as though my friends at college tell me all their problems but I cannot share mine with them. If I'm quiet they ask me what's wrong but to be frank there's nothing they can do. Their advice is quite simply useless. I miss many of my teachers from secondary school, particularly my head of year who was like a second mother to me. Recently 2 of our good neighbours moved. This has left me feeling even more isolated. One of the families that have moved were like grandparents to me and the others were amazing too. My Mum spent a year in hospital a couple of years ago so we have lost contact with many of our family friends and it seems too late and weird to get back in contact with them now. I have applied to university and have decided to stay in Manchester. I replied to my offers last week but after feeling this low, I am left wondering, what have I got left to stay here for? 2 of my best friends who I can actually confide attend other colleges so I don't want to bother them as they too are busy with exams. As well as feeling pretty dreadful on the inside, since starting college in September 2010, I have put on over  a stone. I weigh 9.5 stones, recently I lost half a stone due to results day stress but during Year 11, I weighed 8.5 stones. I just really wish that there was someone there for me. Whether it was a friend, relative or partner. I am praying that university is much better than this. I hope I make some better friends who are more confident and less wrapped up in their own lives. Don't get me wrong, I do have a good laugh with them at college but sometimes when you're having a shit day, they don't help matters. They're indecisive and sometimes I feel like I'm a young carer at college as well as home. I can't even go on holiday for a break because who exactly am I supposed to go with? My Mother would need to be granted medical permission to travel as she is on medication to travel abroad. I keep telling myself that college will be over in 3 months and hopefully I will leave with the grades I need to move onto university to bigger and better things.

Thanks for putting up with me, feel free to comment.

Take care (hopefully you're not feeling as lonely as I am)

Mancunian Sheep